Jan. 26th, 2015

Holy fuck

I had completely forgotten this blog existed. Oh. My. Fuck.

I see most of (or should I just say all at this point?) my friends have stopped following me here or they just deleted their accounts since the past two years I've been away. Eh. Oh well.

But Jesus. I completely forgot about this UN. Where have I been these past couple years?





But seriously though.

I'm surprised this IJ hasn't deleted this account yet; my last entry being in March '13. They seem to excel in deleting my other accounts so.

But yeah. A lot has changed the past couple years, and in some ways, it hasn't. I was reading through a couple past entries here and all I can think is: "wow, those were problems that long ago?"

So the big question: should I keep this blog? Should I continue blogging here or do I abandon it?

As I've said before, most all of my friends/followers stopped following me here so I guess there's no reason for me to keep posting here, naturally.


I dunno. I have memories and rants here (most of which are private) that I guess I'd like to keep...

Hm. Guess we'll see where this blog goes for now.

Mar. 10th, 2013

Woe is me

Once again, every time I try to excel in one thing I fail miserably at something else. Which is why I'm about to just drop all my work and rant. That's right, bitches. I want to rant.

Needless to say I've been pretty angry lately. I haven't been doing so well with my commissions. Studies have been weighing me down and stressing me out, even though I actually want to go through them... not to mention I've only been getting three-to-four hours of sleep every day. And can you believe there is a certain someone who just keeps me up at night. Seriously, and I don't mean in that way you sick perverts. I'm not gonna name any names here but certain someone plays movies and TV shows way late into the night "just so" certain someone could sleep. And the thing is, certain someone doesn't really consider who or what it does to others. I mean, who puts on movies way way late at night and expects me to wake up proficiently enough in the early morn? I do sleep in the same room, y'know, so a little consideration would be appreciated. Another thing I wanna rant about is that "some" people think I sleep way too much, but the reality is that I really get up in the middle of the night just to work. Can you blame me? Especially when I'm constantly busy doing something else during the days like, oh, say, real life responsibilities for example? Honestly. I am just really tired of people bitching like every little thing is my fault. I friggin' get that I have a lot of responsibilities. And sometimes, when I'm tired, stressed and psyched out, yes, I admit, I fuck up. But dammit, when I'm tired I won't be able to work at 100% efficiency. Why doesn't anyone get it?


It's been about three months since we've finally been living in our "own house". That's right, I've left my grandparents roof and moved.... to their backyard. Yea, We've built a small home which is still under construction, but it's still better than nothing I guess. But maybe living with my grandparents wasn't so bad to begin with. Now, work is still just about the same, perhaps even more intense. God, do they even know how much I hate cooking? Hm, they most likely don't care as long as they're fed by someone, and that someone being me.

I tried to Skype a certain friend lately, but he's not answering any of my IMs. Again, I won't name names here. I really getting the feeling that he doesn't login anymore, even though I told him specifically it's the only place I can talk to him. (Can't login to my facebook and twitter apparently) So, the deal goes that I have some sort of stalker problem. I've been freaking out about it for nearly two-to-three weeks now and the only people I trust to tell about it is my sister, and certain friend who doesn't login Skype anymore. I really wanna tell him, so badly. I'm freaking going out of my mind, a little paranoid about who's asking around town about me, who leaves me flowers by the window. It's freaking the fuck out of me. I wouldn't dare tell any of my family members about it. Only onee-chan. Okasan would most likely not believe me "again", and just tell me it's "all in my head". But I'm fucking sure of it this time. Someone has been following me around. And I intend to find out who it is exactly. I just wish he was around so I'd have someone else tell me it was gonna be alright. I just feel so pissed that he still hasn't answered me back, now when I need him the most. Why the hell won't he answer back?

I apologise for being such an ass, but I'm just really shit pissed at everyone and every thing today. I want to blame lack of sleep but that's way too easy. I haven't named any names just as I said I would, so if anyone happens to be reading this blog post and you think it's about you - it most likely is.

So fuck you and fuck off, 'cause I'm done staying online tonight and going back to work - hopefully that would do the trick and let out some of this anger. I thought writing this would help lessen this bitchy state that I'm in, but I think it only intensified it. Isn't that craptastic?
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Nov. 14th, 2012


Wow... I'm actually surprised to have found a wifi connection...

Today I'm at Central Luzon Doctor's Hospital visiting my Grandma. I'm not gonna go into details, but I'm seriously worried about her. She could, or at least she's expected to return home on Friday so I guess that's a good thing. Still. I wish for so many things now. And they mostly reolve around her right about now.


Jul. 30th, 2012

At long last, I'm on my way to Angeles City just to watch the Dark Knight Rises!

This car ride is killing me, though. I've forgotten to buy my motion sickness medicine yesterday, I've lost my chewing gum (which was actually my backup plan just in case I lost/forgotten my motion sickness pills - go figure), and I've completely forgotten to bring a bag just in case I throw up... God, I hope I don't! I'm wearing my favorite Batman shirt just to watch this movie (call the police - there's a geek on the loose!).

Jul. 28th, 2012


Today wasn't a busy day, to be honest. I didn't get to cook lunch OR merienda (thank God!), there wasn't much dishes needed to be washed today (hallelujah!), and the highlight of my day was I got to got to massacre an entire village of Ganados - yippie! (those who are unfamiliar with RE4 should just leave and kill themselves right now...)

I just learned from Mum that we're about to be given another dog! Tito Rudi (one of my Lolo's frequent majong players) has a Ducshund that's about to give birth pretty soon, and he's willing to give us a pup. Mum (being Mum, of course) wants it. I don't really blame her, she's had two Ducshunds before so having one know would be like a blast in the past for her. Me? You know I could never say know to such cuteness. But... I just don't know if I can take on another dog. I mean, I already take care of four dogs (five, technically - it's my Grandfather's but I'm still feeding her for some odd reason...), seven cats, two rabbits, and God only knows how many chickens and turkeys! (Please note that the aviaries aren't exactly pets but they take up just as much of my time t thto ge! - facepalm-) Is another dog really what I sneed right now? I really have to think this through...

I was job-hunting online again just a few minutes ago. They make it sound so easy. ''Do all your work from home! You'll never have to leave your family!'' God. If only they knew the irony... Freelancer.com hasn't exactly been the most kindest to me. I've been meaning to do some commissions via deviantArt for the longest time now just to make that extra income but I always find myself unable to finish a project. What will I have to do just to get motivated? -facepalm-

Jul. 26th, 2012

The Joker's hair is GREEN, dammit...


Jul. 25th, 2012

Long time to update!

So what else is new? As usual, my family life is once again sucking away at my personal life... Pft! What am I saying? WHAT personal life? Oy vey. Da t'ings I do for love. -facepalms-

For some odd reason I've been apponted on and off kitchen duties the last few months. Although lately it feels more of a permenant position as if my mum has been training me to become housewife champion of the century or something of the like. In the past couple weeks alone my work has only doubled since nii-san got sick and I ended up with his duties. Oh well.

A few nights ago was the one night I didn't have to do anything. Nada! Zippo! Ziltch! Never thought I'd be happier to have a night off. And d'ya know what greeted me the next day? A shitload of dishes on the sink, trash hasn't been thrown out yet, and I'm pretty sure there's evidence that a couple of roaches made love on my counter. Ugh. Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind having to do any work, honestly I don't but, dammit, if you're gonna give me the night off I'd expect someone to take over for me until I get back on my feet, right?

Argh, I can't believe even believe I'm getting so worked up on kitchen matters!!

The Dark Knight Rises was released a few days ago and I've still yet to see it. -cries in the inside- Normally I would've been among the first in line just to see it... Hell, I would've camped overnight just to see it, but goddamned provincial life just doesn't make that possible for me! (First world problem anybody?) Although, I'm kinda glad I didn't, though, what with what happened in Aurora, Colorado... That was really unnerving.


I guess I've just about run out of things to say so I might as well head off! (not that anybody cares to read this blog anyways...)

Jun. 2nd, 2012

What have I done?

OMGsh, can't help keep spazzing out.

So there's this voice acting contest in BehindtheVoiceActors.com. I was originally just gonna help out nii-san with his recordings and audio editing and whatnot... then I decided to join in at the last minute. Bad idea. Sort of. I don't regret joining mind you. It's just... why did I have to record at the last freaking minute, especially when I knew about this a month prior?!

Oh, and here's the fun bit - of all the times I could've recorded, I recorded on the day I had a cold! Karma's such a bitch...

Either way, there's no turning back now. My audition is already submitted and I'm beginning (at least just a tad bit) to feel a little regret for not triple checking my recordings a few times more...

I hate being a perfectionist....

Dec. 23rd, 2011

Doesn't really feel like Christmas...

I mean, there aren't any decors around, no tree, no lights. It's not even cold around here like it used to be. The only insication that it's nearly Christmas around here is the calendar on the wall with a really small print in yellow that says 'Christmas Day'. Weird.

Don't get me wrong. Christmas is fun ans all but I'm not really the festive type of person to begin with. I don't celebrate Christmas, big deal, but that shouldn't stop me from having a good type, or allowing others to have fun either, right? It just... doesn't feel the same, y'know?

Eh, I dunno what to write about now, and I was so sure I had a lot to say! dammit...

Nov. 18th, 2011

OMGshOMGsh! It's here!

I really don't mean to sound like the overeager little schoolgirl right now, but OMGshOMGshOMGsh! My lil' box of win hath arrived!

Okay, right now you're kinda wondering what lil' box of win you ask? I probably should've mentioned it before. A few months ago, I entered a contest in deviantArt - just draw Wesker from Resident Evil and a particular OC. Top ten people gets prizes. Easy, right? Kinda. You see, I didn't know much about Resident Evil then and almost nothing about Wesker (I only played RE3 and Outbreak: File 2, so cut me some slack!).

Anywho. I submitted a couple of entries and they both ended up as 7th and 9th place! Not bad, I'd say. Considering I'm the only entrant who actually won two slots! w00t~!

My prizes arrived today, so that's what the hype is all about. I haven't opened it yet, but I'll most likely take some pictures of 'em tonight and upload 'em some time tomorrow, just to show off xD

But omgsh I'm so excited. I'll try to write more here another time. ^^

Nov. 5th, 2011

what a daaaaaaaaaaaay....

I don't even know how this day ended up the way it did...

Woke up this morning and it was freezing cold. Turns out it had been raining all night due to the storm that was said to have dissipated already. Screw you, Pagasa! I don't trust you no mo'!

I go about my daily routine: Go down, make breakfast, have breakfast, do dishes. Make lunch, have lunch, do dishes. Make dinner, have dinner , do dishes, take shower, and now here I am! What a day, right? By golly, I sure can't wait for tomorrow! (insert sarcastic tone here)

Okay okay okay, so my day didn't go exactly like that. I got to play a bit of SH:Origins today mainly cos Grandpa had no majong game today; ergo, I didn't have to make merienda; ergo, I had free time. Doesn't take a genius to figure that out, does it? I know I didn't have to say it that way, but it made me sound smart lmao (I have a lot to vent out, so bear with me!).

Any hoe. The real ticker of the day is that somehow... somehow I ended up managing both RPs that I had left years ago. How in the H did it come to this? I mean... I just so happen to be asked to become administrator of both RPs on the same day? Coincidence? I think not. Conspiracy? Now you're talkin'...

And what's worse?

I willingly accepted to do so.




Don't give me that look! I know, it was stupid for taking on something that I'm probably too busy to handle. But I owe it to these guys to be honest; I wouldn't really be the geek I am today if it wasn't for them (damn right, I'm proud!). Besides, it's just a revamping job and some site management. How hard can it be?

Why do I have the feeling I'm gonna regret those words?

Oct. 9th, 2011


I'm online! Not on a phone. Not for work. No upcoming projects. No stressful deadlines. No sneaking about pretending to work. I'm here on my own free time! I guess today wasn't such a bad day after all <3

Don't all applaud at once...

So what did I do the moment I get online in? Checked my IM of course. I missed just talking with Carlos... And what do I find? No-one's there. Seriously. 50+ contacts and IM buddies and not a single one was online. Even the new contacts (which I have no idea who they are or how they got my address) weren't online... am I being avoided? Damn, I hope not. So I start to think, if IM lets you down, where's the next best place to socialize online, then it hits me: Facebook! I sign in and... guess what? I forget my password. After several failed attempts I click the Forgot your Password button and here I am waiting for my email request.

What a great start, right? The internet hates me.

Went back to a lot of old forums/groups that I used to hang out in before; logged in, said hey on some of them, the left. Most of them, I just logged in, looked about, then left. I just didn't have the brain power to catch up on everything and think up a witty response (yea, you're probably thinking - but you've got enough brainpower to write a blog instead? Shut up, I need to vent!). I'll probably check up on those tomorrow when I'm not braindead...

Hm, what else to talk about?

Grandma is finally back home, thank goodness. She got a high BP a few weeks back. 200/120. Not a good sign. I guess thinking about Grandma also gave me a high blood pressure too... 155/101. Not good. Couldn't believe it myself! She stayed over at my Aunt and Uncle's place in Pasig til' she got better since they were closer to a veteran hospital. Since then I've been cooking, cleaning, watching out for and running errands for Grandpa (and my crazy aunt!). Eh... I know I had to take things easy since I had a high BP and all, but who else was gonna do the work? =(

The farm isn't looking too good lately. The past few months it's been a downpour of rain, rain and more rain. It's not a bad thing once you think about it, 'cause I don't have to worry about watering the crops or the extreme heat anymore. It's just that the typhoons are kinda knocking down my chilli plants, mango and papaya trees. Dammit, do you realize how long it takes avocado trees to bear fruit?! (Am I seriously getting all touchy about an avocado tree? O.o). In the last storm, there was only one casualty - Chikki, one of my (pet) chicks, drowned in her coop. The water just got too high and the irrigation couldn't drain that fast enough. At least I still have the others...

I'm still working on my commissions project... it's just a little difficult to find the time nowadays, but at least now things are a little bit easier. I'm online now, aren't I? I just hope this is a regular thing. Hm, Carlos would probably just tell me to screw work and just move to Florida with him xD

Gosh I miss him... I wonder if he's online now?

Jun. 19th, 2011


Alessa passed away this morning. She was only 8 months old... my little baby...

I haven't even gotten over Lady... or Rolf for that matter, and now I have mourn for my little Alessa too? God, why is this happening?

Why is it that when I have the time to write here, it's usually bad news?

I haven't cried this hard for a while now...

Jun. 5th, 2011


Fangirls of the world - I dare you not to squee... go on, I dare you...

Jun. 3rd, 2011

Tomb Raider Trailer

Silent Hill: Downpour ~ E3 2011 Trailer

Jun. 2nd, 2011

OhMyGackt ~ vids galore! ♥

So I had some time to stroll around YouTube today... and the first thing I search for? Pfft... need you ask? I stumbled some vids, and I wanted to post them up here (I don't EVER wanna forget these...) ♥

Could definitely could use a woman's touch, if you get my meaning... -wink wink-

Now this one I have been waiting for for about... how long has it been? Two? Three years since it was announced? OMGackt, how long I've waited for even a clip... and now it's here!! For a "Hollywood" movie, it seems kinda... (shall I say it?)... cheap. The style, the presentation, , the cheesy CGI, the really bad fight choreography, it's more of a B-movie more than anything. Don't get me wrong, I really like the way the movie is going - (okay, okay, I admit, 98% of me is only interested in the film because of Gackt's involvement and if he wasn't, I wouldn't even bother looking it up thru IMDB... but) the plot is interesting, the setting and the whole dystopic East meets West feel to it really makes it interesting, I just can't help but give it a benefit of a doubt. ♥ I can't wait for this film to come out!

ENGRISH with Gackt - Unfortunately, the user has disabled the embed feature so just click the link to view. His English has really, REALLY improved over the years! I wanted to cry when I heard Meguriai and Flower though. Probably one of my favorite Gackt-vids around, so I would highly recommend any Gackt fan to watch this ♥

More English from Gakkun! It's been a while since I've actually wanted to cry at something so beautiful (I know, this is the fangirl side of me speaking lol). What I'm amazed at though is that he hasn't lost the meaning of the song even in its English form. I mean, think about it, when you translate something, you have to give it the most accurate meaning possible. Now translate that while keeping it in the same syllable count as the song WITHOUT losing any of its meaning and potency. Utada did it (e.g. First Love), but both song differ greatly. You can try, but Gakuto-sama definitely outdid himself this time.♥

May. 21st, 2011

life is just too cruel...

The worst news I could ever imagine...

Lady, my 7 month old pup died this morning.

I never even got to hug her today, like I always do...

Apprently, so I'm told, Grandpa had fed her some smoked fish this morning(which was something we've told him countless times NOT to do). I don't know how it could've happened, it all happened so fast, but I was told she then started to puke out black (dried blood - which means internal bleeding). And then....... ugh, I can't even think about it...

I was supposed to start on this contest today, but now I don't even have the heart for it... one of the themes for the contest was death and I chose it mainly cos it was my strongpoint. Now, I can't even think of it without crying... -sigh-

I just want to cry all day long today...

May. 14th, 2011

Not too good today, folks...

And just when I was beginning to think things can't possibly get any worse...

Do you recall me ever saying a few entries back that I thought I was feeling sick? That my body suddenly couldn't take the pressure? Welp, I finally caved in today. Blood pressure's through the roof. This morning I was experiencing chest pains. Can't breathe right. Can't sleep. And now - I can't get outta bed! DX

I would usually consider this a good time to actually rest and relax, just as my body requires but... how can I? My head is too active, I've got (quite literally) tons of fresh ideas for upcoming PhotoShop projects that I NEED to get outta my head before I lose 'em. I just don't like staying put! Even watching a movie alone has lost its edge; its just no fun without anyone to watch RoboCop with anyways =/

Ehhhhh... I'm about to die of boredom!!

May. 13th, 2011

Sign of the times?

According to the local news today there's a planetary alignment. I've yetto confirm it on more 'reliable' sources, but... that is kinda creepy to hear...

Seriously; a planetary alignment of Friday the 13t?

Does anybody else smell impending doom?